The Devil and I

The 20’s are often a period of discovery and change for most people and it certainly has been for me. Now in the twilight of that decade I can look back with the knowledge I’ve gained and draw lessons from the many phases I went through.

In my early-mid twenties I became very interested in psychology and in particular Jung’s psychological types and the Myers-Briggs personality system. The understanding I gained from that phase has been monumental, I developed a lot of understanding about myself and others. Now closing in on 30 I see how it had led me astray. Strangely nothing in the culture around me at the time suggested I was wrong, in fact it reinforced my path and encouraged me to keep going.

This journey sent me inward. For years I revelled in my differences, my uniqueness, my complexity. In my mind I snared at others for their failures to understand me. None were like me except those few of my type, and even then, they were still different. I was part of an elite club, I was special. I was, an individual.

Now I don’t say any of this to critique personality typing per se, I believe it holds a lot of value, insight and practical knowledge. I encourage all to learn about it and use it to better understand themselves and others. However, personality typing comes from “The Century of Self” and in this detail, lies the devil himself.

During the 20th Century psychoanalysis was used to convert people into individuals, this was done by corporations and politicians using the theories of Freud. Once all notions of collective and community minded behaviour had been removed, people were much easier to manipulate, predict and control. Born of this manipulation of the Western mind has been a focus of ones individual needs. The “Century of Self” taught people to be an individual and what an individual should desire. Whatever desire they had was exploited by those looking to manipulate and control. Examples of this are things like Tattoos, divorce rates and the endlessly growing choice in consumer goods. In general it has worked to create a more egocentric population of consumers looking to satisfy their own individual desires.

So what happens when people apply this new philosophy to relationships? What happens when the man who once worked for the benefit of his community and family, but now works for the benefit of himself alone? He looks for what can satisfy his every need. A partner no longer should have skills and traits like kindness, honesty, integrity or a desire to be a mother. But they should be independent, able to understand you to the core of your being, be experienced and open sexually and desire the same material desires; travel, dining, shoes, houses.

For a while I thought this was what mattered. I had learned about myself and what I needed so I looked for someone who could satisfy the needs of my own unique individual self. I indulged myself as this complicated being with a multitude of complicated needs. I needed someone who intuitively understood my nuances and idiosyncrasies. To this end I found partners who were looking for the same thing. But can anyone really know and understand you enough? The answer I received was a resounding no. All I found were those willing to dive into this Self worship with. Those willing to forgo all for the pursuit of happiness. Plain happiness, the kind you get before you lick the ice cream, the false kind, it only exists in the moment of anticipation. By the time you’ve got what you wanted you realise it isn’t going to satisfy. You need more and more. Always a new frontier to be explored and exploited.

The material world has a way of being unendingly unsatisfying. It takes a certain kind of individual to be completely satisfied with living purely in the material world. This constant need for more has a way of spiralling. You seek people with an ever descending desire to push all morality aside for the next level of satisfaction. A very real question is at what point do you start worshipping Satan openly? If you’re doing it unawares, is it any different? Having descended into the depths and returned I can see a clear path to the devils door. That’s how I know evil exists. That is how I know God exists.

If there is anyway way upward instead of down, that is through creation. Don’t mock life with hedonism, create life with love and family. Find that path, then perhaps, salvation will await.